They areENFPeESFJcompatible personality types? See howENFPSandESFJLet's get along in this guide forENFP/ESFJRelationships. If you are an ENFP in a relationship with an ESFJ, find out how you will communicate, interact and form relationships in daily life.
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IfENFPeESFJTo get along
ENFPSandESFJs have some common themes that often come up as they get to know each other. As aENFP, it is good to keep these questions in mind when meeting with aESFJ.
As an intuitive feeling type, you seek a deep and meaningful connection in your relationships. You really want to understand what motivates the people you care about and help them be their best self. You are attracted to people who appear sensitive, caring, and idealistic, and you prefer relationships that help you grow and develop.
You both have some fundamental differences in how you see things, and this can make the relationship challenging for both of you. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be friends; In fact, you may find that spending time with this person will introduce you to mindsets that will help you learn and grow. But this relationship will not be without its frustrations.
Basically you are interested in people, relationships and values. You are a very idealistic person and you are always looking for ways to make the world a better place. You easily empathize with others and often feel their suffering very strongly. But you never accept suffering as a fact of life; To you, we all have a responsibility to change, improve, and become better than we are. You can easily imagine a better world and embrace change with enthusiasm if you see it as a positive development.
His counterpart, on the other hand, attaches great importance to tradition and consistency. It's not that they don't care about people or making the world a better place, but they tend to be suspicious of change in general and rarely see it as a solution to anything. They tend to believe that the best way to serve people is to keep things consistent and predictable, and they may find your ideas about revamping established systems odd, unnecessary, and distracting.
If you've tried sharing your dreams and visions with this person, you've probably noticed their distinct lack of enthusiasm. They don't try to be negative; Your counterpart simply does not have their talent for visualization. Unless they've seen an idea work in practice, they're probably not very enthusiastic about it. This can frustrate you to no end. At worst, you will tend to see this person as boring, stagnant, and unimaginative. They will see you as fleeting, unrealistic and impractical.
So what's the benefit? The same things that annoy them about each other are also learning opportunities. Yes, you have wonderful ideas, but you can also be a little impractical. This person can help you think through the realities of your ideas so you can better implement them. And for your part, you have the opportunity to break them out of their routine and help them envision possibilities for a better world. If you play it right, they might actually be wide-eyed at your creativity and idealism.
While there are some common issues that can arise in ENFP/ESFJ relationships, it's important to remember that there is no such thing as a perfect personality type match. Getting along with someone has more to do with your own confidence and sensitivity to your friend's needs and preferences - not some magic formula. Learn more about your own type with ain-depth assessmentIt's a great place to start building the confidence that is key to successful relationships.
Communication can be a challenge between any two people, and communication betweenENFPeESFJPersonality Types is no exception. By being aware of the problems that often arise whenENFPSandESFJThrough communication you can learn to understand each other faster.
You have a different communication style than this person and you need to make some adjustments in order for this relationship to reach its full potential.
They communicate in a rather abstract and theoretical way. They focus on making connections and interpreting meanings and exploring the "why" of things. Much of what you communicate is your idea, theory, or interpretation of what you see rather than direct observation. When making plans, you typically spend a lot of time talking about the overall purpose or theme of the plan—with little interest in the details of what exactly is going to happen or how.
On the other hand, your counterpart communicates more directly and concretely and focuses on facts, details, history and real experiences. They focus on the “what” when they discuss something, conveying information they have directly observed or can back it up with real-life evidence. When they make plans, they usually focus on the specific steps that will take place. And they're usually interested in talking about real things, not ideas or theories.
While it may seem like you speak different languages, the truth is that while you may have different comfort zones when it comes to communication, you can step out of those comfort zones to meet halfway - and you will be both do better. . for this. You can help your partner make an effort to look beyond the obvious and explore the deeper meaning. And in return, they can help you get back to reality and discuss the details and facts of a situation, not just the big idea.
Both are energetic communicators and you may find that they both like to talk when they are together. While this can lead to lively discussions, it can also be frustrating as you may end up competing for the floor. When you're together, it's important that you both focus on being good listeners and sharing your own thoughts. This is something you can work on together, and it's a valuable endeavor because developing your listening skills benefits all of your relationships, not just this one.
The values are intensely personal and, although aENFPIt is aESFJWhile you can find common ground, there will always be some differences in what's close to your heart. However, understand how yoursENFPCompares value approach to yoursESFJThe other person will help you appreciate and overcome your differences.
You both share a deep empathy and compassion for others, and you likely dedicate a great deal of time in your life to serving your family, friends, and community. You both enjoy jobs that allow you to help people, in healthcare, social services, education or the like, or you can both volunteer your time for causes that are important to you. Whatever your sympathies, you will both agree that the caring help of others is an important value to you.
Where you differ is how your values are driven. You are deeply idealistic and so passionate about what you believe in. You can easily imagine how the world could be a better place and enjoy empowering others to explore possibilities, whether they implement those ideas or not.
Your counterpart has a similar value system, but yours is more practical and logical. They show their concern through pragmatic solutions delivered here and now, like helping a friend in need. They offer support that can be helpful right away—now rather than ever—because it's important that your partner sees a tangible result in your actions.
For your partner, the instinct to serve arises from a dutiful sense of social responsibility rather than the more familiar empathic pain. There's no reason the two approaches can't coexist, although you may find your partner's approach to be overly traditional and closed to new ideas ("we don't do it that way") when thinking about ways to solve problems. While you appreciate your partner's tender heart, you may worry that they lack a greater purpose.
This is an opportunity to introduce each other to new ways of thinking. You are both characterized by holding yourself to values that are important to you, but your partner can help you understand the practical reality of those values. On the other hand, you can help them develop passion for big ideas and adopt a more complete approach to their view of the world. The challenge for you is not to irritate yourself too much if your partner tends to value tradition and the wisdom of lived experience much more than you do, rather than using creativity and imagination to find a better way.
One of your key values is flexibility and freedom, in an area where you differ from your counterpart. While you approach life in a relaxed and independent manner, you tend to be a bit more serious and goal-oriented. You value stability and structure, while happily trading stability for your own freedom to do as you please. At times they may feel like you just aren't serious or motivated enough, while occasionally they may feel like they're lacking in fun.
You may find yourself arguing about whether it's really more important to work hard and achieve something than to relax and enjoy the ride. However, remember that there is a time and a place for both of these values. Hard work certainly pays off, but of course hard workers also need to learn to switch off and enjoy life. And while you're unlikely to miss out on any of the fun things in life, you may find that you're more successful in your career and other pursuits when you allow yourself to be influenced by your more goal-oriented peers.
ENFPeESFJin daily life
Lifestyle is an underestimated but extremely important element of compatibility. Your values and ideals may be perfectly aligned, but if you cannot agree on how to go about day-to-day affairs, your relationship will always be at odds. As aENFPin a relationship with aESFJ, you can expect certain problems to arise in your daily life. If you discuss these ahead of time and figure out how to deal with them, things will go a lot smoother as your relationship develops.
You both like people and your life probably has a lot of room for friends, family and social events. You probably have large groups of friends and lots of parties and get-togethers to attend. As you get to know each other, you'll likely look forward to introducing yourself to your social circles and enjoy getting to know each other's friends and family to deepen your own bond.
You probably have an energetic attitude towards life and like to keep busy. You both tend to feel most alive when you step out and experience the world around you. In fact, your calendars can be dangerously full, since it's unlikely that either of you will turn down an opportunity to get out and do something interesting. It can be a challenge to keep up with each other as you both tend to travel a lot. If your relationship is a priority, make sure your social calendar reflects that.
Their everyday life together can be overly busy with no time for reflection and introspection. You both love to be out and about, and the idea of spending time alone doesn't usually appeal to you. While this approach to life works well for both of you, remember to keep your balance. Even the most outgoing person still needs a little time to be calm, to think and reflect. And taking some time to just focus on each other can help you discover new aspects of your relationship.
Organization can be a point of contention between the two of you. While you are more relaxed about schedules, plans and systems, your counterpart is more structured. You may find that there are disagreements about these fundamental differences.
When sharing a physical space, you may disagree on how clean, tidy, and organized it needs to be. Your counterpart is naturally more motivated to ensure order, while you tend to have less need for organization.
You may end up feeling annoyed or bothered by your partner's demands for organization, but it's important to remember that working on this aspect of your personality is a way of respecting who they are. Often the more organized partner takes on more shared responsibility simply because they are more aware of what needs to be done. This can lead to resentment and imbalance in the relationship. Thinking about being organized as a way to show respect or caring for the other person, rather than as a chore, can help you feel more motivated.
Scheduling can also be an area of tension for both of you, as you like to keep things open-ended while you prefer to have it planned and resolved. Again, engagement is key. The first step is to realize that you have different approaches and that each style has its advantages. Then try to make sure your time together includes planned events and free time for spontaneity so you both have a chance to be your best.
Finding harmony in your life together can take some effort because you see and communicate different things. While you look for patterns and metaphors in every interaction, the other person takes things at face value. For her, everyday life is life through the body and the senses. For you, it's a springboard for testing ideas.
Life exists inside your mind to satisfy your curiosity and help you learn new things. Discovering new ideas is a lifelong pursuit and you take it very seriously. You tend to read extensively, take classes for fun, and engage in activities that allow you to explore "the yet to be discovered."
The opposite is true for its counterpart. You are a creator of life and believe that actions speak louder than words. They tend to choose activities that stimulate their senses or body in some way - be it cooking, bungee jumping, or arts and crafts. There are many hobbies here that might both interest you, but this can cause disagreements between couples who cannot agree on what they like to do in their free time.
Routines can be another area of conflict. While you dream of adventures to keep things interesting, your counterpart has a low tolerance for stirring things up just to stir things up. Instead of seeing this as a source of conflict, understand that you have a lot to offer here. You can focus on the big picture, offering the angles and opportunities that will give your partner a broader understanding of the world. They can focus on the details and the present moment and remind you of what's important right now. As long as you communicate effectively, it's a wonderful win-win situation.
Are you ready to take your relationships to the next level? Discover how your needs, motivations, and perspectives drive you in relationships — and how to avoid common pitfalls — with our scientifically validatedTypeFinder personality analysis.